Teens may avoid school for several reasons, from lack of sleep and late-night screen use to academic pressure
For some UAE families, the school morning can become a daily negotiation — getting a teenager out of bed, dealing with complaints of tiredness and trying to work out whether they are simply reluctant to start the day or whether something more is going on.
Experts say there can be several reasons behind a teenager not wanting to go to school, ranging from insufficient sleep and late-night screen use to academic pressure, friendship problems, anxiety or feeling disconnected from school.
Occasional reluctance is generally not unusual during adolescence. But when it becomes persistent, affects attendance or is accompanied by physical or emotional symptoms, parents may need to look beyond the morning routine.
Stephanie Watson, deputy head of Secondary at The British International School Abu Dhabi, said the reasons can vary considerably, with some students worried about assessments or academic performance while others may be dealing with friendship difficulties, social pressures or anxiety.
“We understand that occasional reluctance to come to school can be a normal part of adolescence. However, when that reluctance becomes persistent or begins to impact attendance, wellbeing, or engagement, we look more closely at what may be driving it,” she said.
When ‘I don’t want to go to school’ may mean something more
Teenagers can struggle with mornings because of everything from sleep deprivation and long travel times to bullying and academic pressure, said Joseph Sebastian, vice principal – Administration and Student Affairs and head of Pastoral Care, Inclusion & Wellbeing at Woodlem Park School Dubai.
“Teenagers may be reluctant to attend school in the morning for several reasons, including insufficient sleep, late-night screen use, long travel times, academic pressure, friendship difficulties, bullying, anxiety or feeling disconnected from school. During adolescence, natural changes in the body clock can also make early mornings particularly difficult,” he said.
The important distinction, he said, is whether the behaviour is occasional or follows a repeated pattern.
“Occasional complaints, tiredness or slow morning routines are usually normal. However, repeated refusal accompanied by headaches, stomach aches, tearfulness, irritability, withdrawal, declining grades, friendship changes or frequent absences may indicate a deeper concern,” Sebastian said.
Parents should also pay attention to whether reluctance happens before a particular lesson, assessment or on certain days, he added.
Clinical psychologist Asra Sawar, of Aster Clinic, Discovery Gardens and Bur Dubai, said tiredness on its own does not necessarily indicate a problem.
“A tired teenager may complain about getting up but usually settles once they are awake and their routine starts. When there is an underlying problem, the distress is often more consistent such as anxiety the night before school, physical symptoms on school mornings, or a strong reaction to a particular class, teacher or peer group,” she said.
For parents, the challenge can be knowing when to intervene without making the teenager feel judged.
“It is also important to consider what is happening outside school. Excessive screen time, social media pressure, trying to fit in, maintaining an image and keeping up with academic or family expectations can leave teenagers emotionally drained. Parents should try to understand rather than immediately label the behaviour as laziness,” Sawar said.
Sleep, screens and school pressure can all play a role
Sleep is another important piece of the puzzle. Dr Riadh Jabbar Khudhier, consultant psychiatrist at NMC Royal Hospital, Sharjah, said parents should first look at when the difficulty occurs and whether anything else has changed.
“A tired teenager may struggle to wake up but feel better after getting enough sleep and generally settle once at school. A teenager facing anxiety or another school-related problem may become distressed the night before, repeatedly complain of feeling unwell on school mornings, or fear a particular class, person or situation,” he said.
Teenagers aged 13 to 18 generally need eight to 10 hours of sleep, making sleep routines an important first step when a child is struggling with mornings, Khudhier added.
One UAE parent, Najila Abdullah, whose daughter is in Year 12 and son in Year 9, said she has found that setting clear boundaries around phones and study time has helped her children manage their routines.
“For the most part they are motivated. But I am also very strict with them. They generally like going to school. But having said that there are days when my daughter feels really tired and because of all the physical changes they are going through, they also have mood swings and or may not be feeling well,” she said.
Abdullah also said that her family now follows a strict phone routine, with devices kept outside the bedrooms at night.
“I take their phones from them at 10pm. There have been days when I realised that they were online at 4am or 5am. Now there is a rule in the house that everyone including us will have to put their phones outside. For waking up purposes we have bought old fashioned alarm clocks to set our alarms,” she said.
Schools also say that reducing uncertainty can help students who are anxious about attending.
Watson said BIS Abu Dhabi focuses on providing students with clarity around assessments, changes to routines, upcoming events and support plans.
“Our pastoral teams work closely with students and families to understand what sits beneath any reluctance to attend school. Rather than focusing solely on the behaviour, we seek to identify and address the underlying concern so that students feel confident, supported, and able to engage fully in school life,” she said.
For parents, Sebastian's advice is to start a conversation rather than immediately imposing consequences.
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